What I NEED You To Understand.....

 I do not will my seizures into being, they happen even when I am asleep.

They hurt me , they make me fall.

I do not want them.

I feel betrayed by my own body.

If  my  subconsciousness  is doing this to me I hope it dies.

If you think I am doing this on purpose put yourself in my place...or at least try,
To loose control of your own body is one of the most frightening things that can happen to a person.

That is what I need you to understand.

Visiting Purgatory

 Every day for nearly two years now with no day off, I go somewhere.When I go I am not really in my body anymore I am gone, somehow ceasing to exist. I am not really dead. I am not really alive. I cannot see, I cannot hear , I cannot speak. There is no time. It is not heaven, it is not hell.  I am made to visit my own purgatory, seizureland, and I don't want to go there anymore. My existence is simply nothingness there. Do people get stuck there? Will I get stuck there ?

Seizureland is purgatory..........strictly metaphorically speaking.