This is Too Big For Me...

   Yesterday was a good day...I had a Neurology appointment which seemed to go fine. My prescriptions were re-filled and the doctor thought I was on the right path with the plans we had to go to a movement disorder clinic at Johns Hopkins.  That was that ....I did not give it a second thought.
  My Daddy took me around to some stores I got some new books ...met some kind people.
We went home...I ate dinner. I read some, watched some television and went to bed.
  Today when I got up....Mommy had something to tell me...the doctor from Johns Hopkins wanted me to see the guy I had been seeing...the guy who thinks I am too bent up for him to work on my hand, the guy who said "find someone else."....THE POOPYHEAD guy!

 I did not cry but I was sad.

I was hoping to find a compassionate doctor who would hear my voice...one who would try to understand me.

How can there be so much kindness and so much hate...or careless people at the same time?

This feeling is overwhelming.

This feels too big for me.


It is too big for me....but not too big for God.

God has given me so much love...God gave me parents that love me...God has used strangers to show His love for me.

God is bigger than man even if the man has a white coat and fancy papers on his wall.

Mommy found a man in Morgantown who does botox  and treats Dystonia.
Mommy called them...they called back....they gave me an appointment.

There are many things I can do with 2 hands that I cannot manage with 1.

 Getting dressed would be so much easier....and a lot of other things.

I know I am really bent up...even if my leg would be straight I think my back and neck would pull me over.

Basically I guess I am asking for a hand.

The use of my hand.

Maybe I will not get what I want...

But I will get what I need.

God will take care of me.

That is what has been happening.

A lot of people have been asking me  "Whats up?"

Now you know. 

It Happens To Many Of Us...

  Many people in their lifetime are going face a disability.... Maybe a bad accident , maybe you will get old and your body will wear out.

  Have you noticed how many people in nursing homes use wheelchairs or walkers?

 Some people will be active and fit until they die...but it seems to me quite often people get old or injured...

 Why then do I attract so much attention when I go out.....because I am not a old lady?

Some attention I like ...some I don't .

To the people who give me the kind I do not like....I have a message for them, " It could happen to you"

When I was young I knew some kids who said very mean things about a lady that had seizures....It really upset  me ...I told them it could happen to them.  They were like " Yeah Right" and made faces at me .

 It happened to me...not them.

 You never know, It could happen to you.

You will still be a person....you will still have likes and dislikes , thoughts and feelings.

When you see a person who is in a wheelchair or uses a walker or whatever they are doing differently than you ....you should say hello ....maybe you won't understand the person too well when they say hi to you....maybe this will make you really uncomfortable. 

The fact that humans have frail and mortal bodies is an uncomfortable subject.

 You should just try to put yourself in that persons shoes....treat them as you would want to be treated if it was you.

That is what I have to say about that.