The Saddest Friendship I Ever Had....

  What I am going to tell you about is something that really was very difficult for me....It was over four years ago and it still makes me sad.

 Well, at i.v. when I was just starting to go there I did not really talk that much to anyone, I guess I felt shy .  There was a man that would smile at me and I would smile back but we did not speak for probably a month.

 Then one day we talked and we became friends ...I asked him if he had any kids and a single tear rolled out of his eye and he said he didn't but he sure wished he had a daughter.

I knew something about this man before I asked him that and ....Maybe it wasn't an appropriate question? I don't know.

Anyway I had gotten this man in trouble at one time...he and someone he was with were discussing in great detail something I did not know much about, sodomite things. (most people would say gay stuff I guess)  Anyway I was sitting there getting my i.v. with my eyes bugging out of my head because I was shocked and the nurses saw that and he was told if he would not stop talking about that stuff they would have to ask him to leave.
He apologized ....lots and of course I forgave him.

Anyway , after the question that made him cry we talked about other things and religion came up..I said something about God and he said something like "well good for you , but I don't believe in God".
 I left it at that and we talked about other things.

Well, his i.v. was finished and he was going to go...he asked when my next appointment was so he could make his with mine and we hugged. He said he would see me next week and I got the most horrible feeling that I would never see him again .
I didn't, he died the next day of a heart attack.

I found out the next week that he had died and ....I had to go hide in the bathroom and cry.
He didn't believe in God.
I was so upset in fact I almost threw up.
Then a thought came to me.....God surely must of loved this man as much as I did.
With Jesus in my heart could I love someone who God hated?

Maybe when this man went home he prayed.....maybe he didn't .

I am so sad about this...still.

I am not skilled to understand what God has willed or what he has planned.