Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Turpentine Hugs
When my Daddy comes home from work he smells funny sometimes , all those chemicals where he works. I like to give him a hug when he comes home no matter what he smells like . Turpentine hugs are sometimes the sweetest ones , those are the ones when he is tired and a bit unhappy... It is not easy bringing the bread home for a family of six. He tells me not to hug him when he has so much chemical smells on him , but I know he likes it because when I listen to him and just say hi he gets rather glum. Yes, as strange as it sounds I have come to like the smell of turpentine.....It smells like hard work.
I Made the Physical Therapists Lift Weight .. Me!!!
Today I had my first seizure that happened at P.t. , Mommy caught me but the therapists had to carry me to the table to keep me from hitting my head on the table corner. Its funny how I get to wake up in a new position or place. The therapists said I got tired so I decided to make them lift some weights, me !
I came home and slept till 5:30 I must of been really tired because it was not even noon when I came home. P.t. took all my energy today.
I am not going to go to p.t. anymore because I do most of the exercises at home and I can walk pretty good with the brace, I thought anyway, but today they said I should be going to p.t. twice a week. That will not happen. I have appointments twice a week that are 2 hours away one way already ...I sleep after that normally . Also my Mom does not like the expense of p.t. either. Like I say I very diligently do it at home anyway.
So today I went to p.t. and slept. That's that .
I came home and slept till 5:30 I must of been really tired because it was not even noon when I came home. P.t. took all my energy today.
I am not going to go to p.t. anymore because I do most of the exercises at home and I can walk pretty good with the brace, I thought anyway, but today they said I should be going to p.t. twice a week. That will not happen. I have appointments twice a week that are 2 hours away one way already ...I sleep after that normally . Also my Mom does not like the expense of p.t. either. Like I say I very diligently do it at home anyway.
So today I went to p.t. and slept. That's that .
Monday, March 4, 2013
When Ralphie Was a Kid
At I.V. today Ralphie told me more about when he was a kid and used to have seizures.
When his family had gatherings he was not allowed to visit or play with the other kids. Ralphie had to set in a room all by himself because nobody wanted to see him have seizures. That is so mean. Good thing his seizures disappeared. Ralphie didn't get to go to school when the other kids did, the school said no. He got to start school when he was seven.
I have had people get pretty freaked out around me and not want to be around me because they saw a seizure, I have had people think I was demon possessed.
I am very glad that I have a family that loves me and would not / will not hide me away. Things are how they are and sometimes they are not pretty, but there is a reason for it all. Everyone needs love and friendship .
When his family had gatherings he was not allowed to visit or play with the other kids. Ralphie had to set in a room all by himself because nobody wanted to see him have seizures. That is so mean. Good thing his seizures disappeared. Ralphie didn't get to go to school when the other kids did, the school said no. He got to start school when he was seven.
I have had people get pretty freaked out around me and not want to be around me because they saw a seizure, I have had people think I was demon possessed.
I am very glad that I have a family that loves me and would not / will not hide me away. Things are how they are and sometimes they are not pretty, but there is a reason for it all. Everyone needs love and friendship .
Visiting Purgatory
Every day for nearly two years now with no day off, I go somewhere.When I go I am not really in my body anymore I am gone, somehow ceasing to exist. I am not really dead. I am not really alive. I cannot see, I cannot hear , I cannot speak. There is no time. It is not heaven, it is not hell. I am made to visit my own purgatory, seizureland, and I don't want to go there anymore. My existence is simply nothingness there. Do people get stuck there? Will I get stuck there ?
Seizureland is purgatory..........strictly metaphorically speaking.
Seizureland is purgatory..........strictly metaphorically speaking.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
At Church
At church lately the sermons have been about the church body, how one can not be separate as a christian and that all the parts have a purpose and use. Also it has been about spiritual gifts. I really don't know what mine is. I have tried to figure it out for a long time but I am not sure. Some people told me what they thought my was... eh I just don't know.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Friday, March 1, 2013
Today Was a Better Day!
Today was better than I have been since Monday, I kept getting really bad REALLY REALLY bad headaches and felt like I was going to vomit. My stomach still feels a bit yucky and my arms are sore from yesterday but I am better. Monday I felt so bad I was crying and my dog, Shasta, was staring at me beside my bed. I told her to go get Daddy as it was when everyone was in bed and I thought I might crash if I got up. Shasta grumbled something in dog language and barked and ran over to my parents room and got him. She knew what I said!! She's brilliant!!!
It snowed a some more I am ready for it to melt because I like being outside more. Yesterday my sister asked me to be her maid of honor ( IF she gets married) her boyfriend has not asked her yet. I shall get a pink dress :) I love pink, its my favorite color.
It snowed a some more I am ready for it to melt because I like being outside more. Yesterday my sister asked me to be her maid of honor ( IF she gets married) her boyfriend has not asked her yet. I shall get a pink dress :) I love pink, its my favorite color.
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