Ohhhhh Jessie, Somebody Steal Your Cane?

 That is what my sister Kelsey thought a couple days ago when she saw me with the walker. She really did think that someone stole my cane!!!

No , my cane didn't get stolen. I got a bad report, the brace man said I should not use the cane anymore because I am really messing up my knee. He actually handed me the walker and took my cane and walked me out of the office. He didn't even let me use the cane to get to the car! (He gave it back to me once I sat down he didn't steal it!)

Anyway....he said if my leg doesn't get better he will have to make me a brace that comes above my knee, " It will not be fun", he said.  Now I appreciate honest doctors that tell you when something might hurt and that sort of thing but I think any sort of brace is not fun so if I have to get a more intense one it must be rather dreadful. But then I guess if I ruin my knee that would be absolutely dreadful.

I guess I ignored the pain in my knee too much, I have a habit of meditating on my big toe when something hurts because my big toe does not hurt. If you meditate on your big toe I guess it can get you into a bit of trouble.

Anyway, I really like the brace man he is my friend , he gave me a cd of his wife and himself singing Christian songs....its really good, very professional. It distracted me from being upset about the walker and such for a while.

Also I got some new glasses this week and they are pink :) (my favorite!)

Without Jesus

Without Jesus....
I would drown in my own tears.
I would be swallowed by my own sadness.
The darkness would consume me.
I would not have hope.
I would be no more.
Jesus is light, He is life.

Nearly Got Killed By A Drinking Glass...

  Yes.....I fell on a glass. I was face down on the glass with the bottom that had the jagged edges right by my neck. 
  Very, very, close...God sure does look out for me.
I only had one small cut on my chest, It is amazing my face did no get all cut up as the glass was stuck on my face...and I am amazed my neck did not get cut.

I wasn't supposed to die yet.

The last few days were very rough as I have been sick, I missed church.

Saturday I broke my leg brace but Mommy fixed it with a screw, a nut, and some duct tape. ( I broke a metal rivet )

  Anyway I am very sore , not just from falling yesterday but I had a bad crash the day before as well...probably I am sore from being sick also.

So...things had not been so great but I did not die , and I did not need stitches so ..... it really wasn't so bad.

Of all the dumb things to be upset about....I was angry because I am supposed to use plastic cups.  

Yes , pretty dumb ..I like my particular coffee mugs for my tea, you see,( I like to get things ALL BY MYSELF!) but you can't always get what you want. 

So, that is how it is.
  

Just Flowers

Again...the program I use to make the glare go away on my drawing refused to work so these are a bit dull , but I guess its o.k.

Most of these are from last week .

61 Pounds Of Paper, The Invasion Of The Bearded Men, And The Week Of Short Pencils

 It has been a while since I last wrote and quite a lot has happened.

I shall start with this, I was given the most wonderful gift of 61 pounds of paper....a wonderful thing, and it came in the mail!!! ( And I had just finished my sketchbook )

I have lots of colors and lately I have went crazy with my drawing....I have seven things I  feel the need to draw but so far I only accomplished five,  I don't think I will reach my goal this week unless I want my arm to fall off.

Last Saturday I woke up and found four bearded men laying on the couches....The Blind Owl Band.

They are a nice friendly sort of fellows...and they play good music and have a nice dog which Shasta, our dog, loved.

Daddy invited them over, after they were at the Moon Shadow Cafe .

 My Dad and I are in the middle as you can see.

Anyway..besides that I have been pretty rough the past few days, I am feeling some better today though. 

And that is that.

I.V. And Other Happenings...

  Yesterday I went to i.v. for the first time in quite awhile, I had to tell some people I know about all the stuff the happened to me since last time I saw them. The hospital stay, withdraw, Dystonia, levadopa....I am going to be an Aunt ( they normally ask about Katie too) .
  Wow this year has been a bit extreme, so it seems.

 Now on to something else......
I seem to be falling down too much ( in my opinion) , I think I am either falling asleep or fainting. Mommy thinks it is a seizure type thing.

 I am not sure what to think about it, I still am doing a lot better in my opinion even with the fainting or whatever it is included in the number of seizure things I have it is still way way less than what I was having.

One thing that is incredibly annoying is when people ask me what am I going to do with my new freedom....well I don't really have much change in that , I still am having stuff happen every day , I cannot drive , I cannot walk far, I still fall  ( at random hours of the day) .  Yes I am very much better but I am not completely well.

I know they do not mean to be annoying ...I am just frustrated  with my body , and for some odd reason that question usually leaves me saying " I don't know" , which I probably really should explain how I currently am instead of just " I don't know" , If you want to know why I say it I'll tell you....I feel like a party pooper when I tell people how I am .

  You know ...people are so excited ( I am too) but sometimes I feel like I am a disappointing downer when I am truthful.

As a matter of fact , it is part of the reason I hide stuff from my parents...Not only do I find trips to see the white coated people ( doctors) unpleasant I feel like I am raining on somebody's parade.

 So ...I am doing a LOT better however.......I am not cured.

 On to something else....
I went shopping a bit after I.V. and bought a new dress from Gabes and a white sweater for my church dresses anyway, when I came home I tried on the dress and found that the buttons did not match up with the button holes!!  I really did like the dress so I cut off the buttons and sewed them back on in the proper places, it was not that hard to fix plus the dress was very cheap .  So that was that.